 |
 |
 |
 |
I am reluctant to tell anybody much of anything, including the fact that I'm losing weight. And yeah, rude people. People will say things about weight without considering how it sounds. I figure I will lose the weight and then graciously accept compliments.
i think anyone who is on a diet feels atleast alittle embarrassed, i know i do its like telling the whole world yeah i am fat and you have told me i need to be skinny so i m conforming to your steriotypes and selling out. while the world has already outcast the fat people of the world they make it even worse when this person is trying to loses the weight bombarding them with mc donalds commercials and rude comments. a friend of mine has loast some weight in the past few months nothing much in societies eyes but to her 10 lbs is alot until some rude teen says look at that fat cow or worse and then all she wants to do is drowned herself in chocolate and chip. so yeah i feel embarressed to admit that i am on a diet
i will loudly proclaim i am on a diet to anyone. hell, they already know i'm fat! but i do hate the stupid advice people like to dish out. the only way i approach a subject is by researching. when i feel satisfied i have learned a great deal i proceed. i really think the whole idea of "dieting" is wrong. that's a temporary fix for something that needs a permanent solution. i am now convinced my only true goal in life is to get in decent shape. that's it. i need to get healthy, feel healthy and be happy about the condition i'm in.
I'm not on a diet anymore. But I will admit to being acutely embarassed for the time I was. I had ballooned up to the point where I was a good 75 pounds overweight. Now obviously, I was aware of how fat I was, and I was aware of how I needed to do something about it, but the comments from people were truly annoying. Every year as I got a bit bigger, people would do things like pat me on the belly and say "Married life treating you well, huh, Hank?". I had to resist the urge to slap them. Over time I realized the truth: MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU IMPROVE. Any time you get better, it means someone is getting behind you. This is in true for friends and family alike. To make changes, you need to forget about what people are thinking, saying, and doing, and just make the changes for yourself. Even though I've lost a great deal of weight, I would NEVER tell someone they're fat or make a rude comment. There's just no need for it.
I think joining in here wasmy first real step to admitting i was on a diet. Has the security of knowing that the people here are firstly sympathetic to the idea, secondly not too close, thirdly arn't going to be asking every other day .."how's it going?" And if i dropped it because of my own inablity (lack of commitment?) thenthere would be no recriminations. A bit chicken of me :-) Regrds Bob
[quote:0ce37aa0eb]I don't need to hear about how your cousin Ruby's best friend's sister ate only mud for a month and dropped 60 pounds.[/quote:0ce37aa0eb] Ah, my belly is still jiggling...LOL! :D I [i:0ce37aa0eb]used[/i:0ce37aa0eb] to be embarrassed to tell people that I'm dieting, for the very reasons you listed, Doctor. Fear of failure, fear of being judged or being watched by the Diet Police at gatherings..."Oh my god, she's not [i:0ce37aa0eb]really[/i:0ce37aa0eb] reaching for that pie, [i:0ce37aa0eb]is[/i:0ce37aa0eb] she?" I'm through with that nonsense. I no longer say that I'm "dieting." Not to others, and not even to myself. I have a theory, you see... The truth is, every one of us is on SOME kind of diet. It's either a healthy diet or an unhealthy diet. I say, rather, that I'm [i:0ce37aa0eb]working at improving my diet.[/i:0ce37aa0eb] Semantics, you say? Perhaps. But if I'm going to change my eating habits, I have to change my thinking. I believe that this is a key to success. What is the #1 downfall after successfully following a diet? Putting the weight back on, and then some. I have done that, oh, three or four times in the pasta 20 years. (Okay, that [i:0ce37aa0eb]should[/i:0ce37aa0eb] read "in the PAST 20 years." It was a typo, but whoa! What a typo! :oops: I just had to leave that one in there, baby. LOL.) I can't let myself think anymore in terms of "a diet" as though it's temporary. My diet is life-long. It has been bad. Very bad. And I'm in the process of making it better. Thanks for the inspiration to write these thoughts out, Doctor. I'm all juiced up for some heavy blogging tonight. :wink: Florine
I have to say, I'm with Doc on this one. Yes, my butt is huge and I will openly admit it. In fact, I joke about it on a regular basis. I do this not only to make other's comfortable with the fact that I'm fat, but to force me to do something about it. And as strange as it sounds, many "former fat people" have opened up to me about their struggles and tribulations. It has been very theraputic! When I started my diet, for the first few days I absolutely refused to tell anyone what I was doing. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, rather, I didn't want people to openly see when I fail. I was concerned that I would fail and give into eating that delicious piece of double chocolate cake and everyone would stand around pointing and laughing. Finally, I broke down with one of my co-workers, "Yes, I'm on a diet!" after she noticed that I didn't have my ususal pop and chip lunch. After talking for awhile, I discovered that she was on the same diet and now, I have been able to use her as a support system. So, I guess it hasn't been too bad. I will certainly be embarrassed if this whole thing falls through, but, hey! At least I tried.
sounds like everyone here is in about the same boat. realizing that lifelong change is what is needs to be done in order to lose weight [b:d1df13db3e]FOR GOOD. [/b:d1df13db3e] I got my copy of Newsweek yesterday, and there is a big article about children. It really troubled me. The CDC gave statistics on overweight children, and although it didn't surprise me, i was shocked that the percentage of overweight kids age 6-11 has [b:d1df13db3e]TRIPLED[/b:d1df13db3e] since the 70's.
[quote:b74e169d47="PixieChic"]sounds like everyone here is in about the same boat. realizing that lifelong change is what is needs to be done in order to lose weight [b:b74e169d47]FOR GOOD. [/b:b74e169d47] I got my copy of Newsweek yesterday, and there is a big article about children. It really troubled me. The CDC gave statistics on overweight children, and although it didn't surprise me, i was shocked that the percentage of overweight kids age 6-11 has [b:b74e169d47]TRIPLED[/b:b74e169d47] since the 70's.[/quote:b74e169d47] Before I discuss the above post, a few side comments... I agree with Anathea in that it's good to finally say to the world, "I'm fat and I'm going to remove these excess pounds once and for all!" By telling people about my diet/work-outs, and I have told plenty (others have simply noticed), I am gaining support. It's just tough to finally admit that we *need* to do this. It's as if we are saying, "yes, I let my life get so out of control, that I became huge." But by finally telling others, it's like we are getting that control back within our grasp. I also agree, as Hank wrote, that some people like to see failures in others. It makes them feel good - as if they are superior because of *your* failure. Or they can commiserate with you as they have failed often too - they now have a partner in failure. Fortunately, I have a lot of candid people around me! :lol: As I wrote above, my own hair stylist gave me this "about time" response when I told her of my diet. Another friend said he's glad I'm doing something now because he was afraid of having to push me around in a wheel barrow! :wink: While these comments are curt, they are also truthful. I had reached almost 285 pounds. What's next? 300? 320? 350? Death?! 8O Still, despite the number of people I told, I'm not pushing the issue. I'm not openly discussing my diet with everyone I know. Some people, depending on how close I am to them, do get more information, others do not. This forum is my real outlet - and I am grateful it exists! I don't need any obstreperous people filling my head with their banal ideas about dieting. I want to discuss weight loss with people who are losing weight. And then, I want those in my immediate life to just notice that the pounds are gone. When I heard my own boss state how I looked thinner, that was proof I was changing - even though I had a long way to go. Regarding the post from PixieChic that I quoted above... I can both relate and not relate to the story. At 6 years old, I was a stick. I have pictures of me to prove how skinny I was. Then, suddenly at 8, I was a little rolly-polly! My aunt was buying me "husky" clothes! What happened? Around 14-15, my one friend used to tease me about my weight. She was the only one who could because she was SO funny. Plus, I wasn't huge, just a little pudgy. But come 16-21, I was again thin as ever. She could no longer comment about weight as I was in pretty good shape! I went to the Bahamas when I was 17 with a bunch of people around my age and readily took off my shirt (gasp!). My late uncle once told me, when I was around 16-18, about how thin I was! And of course, there's now - chunky yet again. So I reflect upon those times of being "thin" and I know I can do it again. Given my age, I know it'll take extra work. There won't be a growth spurt, no hours and hours of sports to play that will naturally cause weight loss, no fast metabolism. I have to lose weight the old-fashioned way. Hence, having some support is great. And I figure if I can finally get in the right frame of mind regarding diet and exercise, this could influence others around me - including children.
Doc.. [quote:36755ba4a0]As I wrote above, my own hair stylist gave me this "about time" response when I told her of my diet. Another friend said he's glad I'm doing something now because he was afraid of having to push me around in a wheel barrow! [/quote:36755ba4a0] A lot of people don't think before they blurt out what they think, and don't think twice about they said. I figure that they "know not what they do" Another thing that is strange, is that after you lose weight people that you know are likely to say stupid things to you. A couple of my co-workers actually bet on how long it would be before I gained weight back! They were supposedly my "friends" and I was very upset when I found this out. (through a 3rd party) Relatives also asked me if I was sick, anerexic, bulimic. None of these applied, but I almost think that Hank is right about he said. Life is about competition.. any athlete will tell you that. If you have been "heavy" for the last 15 years, somehow people assume the worst if you suddenly address the "problem" and lose weight. I don't know what the logic of this is, but it exists out there!!
I think being a male, I have a little less of these issues to face. I only tried dieting once in my life - and while it was successful, I did gain the weight back when I returned to my old eating/no exercise habits. I realized then that if I ever want to keep the weight off, I have to do this for the rest of my life - which is a big commitment. Still, I would be horrified if I found people betting on when I'd fall from the diet or gain the weight back. While I can take a bit of teasing from friends or acquaintances, I would be very upset if strangers referred to me as "that fat guy". :? However, being a tall man with bigger shoulders, I usually just get called a "big man". And in our society, even though I'm clearly overweight, it's O.K. to be a "big man" more than it is to be a "big woman". That's sad and I realize the women here are under more pressure. Just know that there are men here who can relate to your weight-loss goals and are fully supportive of you! As for any naysayers - blah! :wink:
I was horrified. and I had to work right next to them 40 hours a week. I figure the best revenge is living well. And that is exactly what I am doing. People can think whatever they want about me, be it good or bad, and it doesn't change the fact that I'm doing well, and look better than ever. 8)
Ya know, I should mention that even though I don't tell people that I'm dieting (because of my "new" outlook on the matter--see above), I most certainly [i:248923f9f3]do[/i:248923f9f3] discuss my problem with others! Regularly, and without shame. I guess Doc's original post here brought to mind the times I followed a strict diet, particularly my experience with the Medical Weight Loss Clinic. (Low carbs, high protein.) OMG. I brought Tupperware containers of dinner to friends' houses just so I could eat dinner while they had their pizza & beer. Reached my goal, kept it off for 2 years, then gained back the 40 lbs lost plus another 30 lbs. over the next 6 years. During those 6 yrs., I went back to school. At a party with friends, I raised my glass and swore off dieting--esp. spending MONEY on a diet--forever. And I'm sticking to that. I'd rather be fat than a yo-yo dieter. No mo' yo-yo! Now. You "go" on a diet, I don't. You say to-MAY-to, I say to-MAH-to. :? The important point, as has been discussed, is that whether we're simply discussing our diet or joking about our size, we're admitting to a problem. And in that regard, I'm with you guys. And gals. :wink: It's a problem. And we're all working on a solution. QueenBee: Hats off to you for your fantastic attitude about those gossipmongers! I swear, I can imagine certain people in my life doing the same thing. (NOT my buddies, though.) There've been times I could feel the knives in my back. Your "revenge" is perfect...live well. Amen to that! Doc, thanks for your sensitivity regarding: [quote:248923f9f3]And in our society, even though I'm clearly overweight, it's O.K. to be a "big man" more than it is to be a "big woman". That's sad and I realize the women here are under more pressure. Just know that there are men here who can relate to your weight-loss goals and are fully supportive of you![/quote:248923f9f3] You deserve the same respect in return: Just because it's more acceptable for men to be large doesn't mean that guys don't struggle with the same diet & exercise issues as do women! Mars, Venus, phooey. We're in this together. :wink: Florine
[b:f962a98e3c]Queen Bee: [/b:f962a98e3c] I too like your attitude. ;) Show those nay-sayers what you can do. Have them ALL lose the bet. :lol: Of course, unless you know the exact details of the bet, there might just be a coworker or two who could surprise you. For example, coworker A might have bet you'd gain the weight back in 6 months and coworker B said a year. But coworker C might just have said "never". And that coworker is the one you want around, because he/she is the one that has faith in you and can support you. But if there was no "coworker C" in your world, then be resilient. If you've reached your weight loss goal, keep the weight off and thumb your nose at them every day. Once they see you are for real, you'll gain a newfound respect - and even their support. While people love to see others fail (as we discussed in prior posts), if you truly prove you can succeed as the "underdog", you will gain only one thing: admiration. :D [b:f962a98e3c]TheOtherFlorine:[/b:f962a98e3c] I also like your attitude of "not going on a diet". It may just be semantics to some, but your point is VERY valid. For years, people associate diet with two things: weight loss and sacrifice. This is not true. Diet is a way of life. Every single person on this planet has a diet. As you wrote, people either have a healthy diet or an unhealthy one. Clearly for us to gain the weight we did, we had an unhealthy diet. There were many times I was stunned at the fact I became so big - after all, it seemed I ate "little". That's when we need to really take a GOOD look at our "diet". I read once that very obese people often think their diets are "normal" when in fact, they are consuming thousands of calories more a day than a "truly normal" person. While I might not have been promoted to the "morbidly obese" category :roll:, I was a person who thought my diet was "normal". It's only when I really took a good look at what I was shoving into my mouth that I realized how and why I became so heavey. It was time to make a life altering change - one that would affect the rest of my life. I chose a diet that not only will help me now to lose weight, but one that I can use to help me maintain that weight loss. There is no "going on a diet" for me either - it's now a "way of life". Having done this once before, I know that if I ever fall back into bad habits again, I will put the weight back on. So I'm going to fight hard against my old habits and establish new ones. Thanks both of you, and everyone, for the support!
Doctor. That is a great point. I take joy in the fact that I'm coming into my own. I can buy clothes at a regular store, (and actually enjoy it) I can walk without getting winded, I can hold my head high and be proud of what I have done. I hope that all of our members here will be able to do the same. Our lives are the result of the decisions that we make, and it is your decision on a day to day basis to make the right choices. You can choose to: A) Pigout or B) Workout You can choose to: A) Take a walk or B) Take a Nap You can choose not to live your life today as you did yesterday. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Florine, Thank you so much for the compliment.. you can do the same thing! Shock everyone you know!!
Just a little side note on your comment Queen Bee... While taking a walk can provide some much needed exercise, taking a nap is not necessarily a bad thing. :) Sleep burns fat - and that's good. Also, a nap could recharge us enough to do that work-out. Lastly, a nap or going to bed early might be a great way to avoid eating more. Instead of staying up late and grabbing yet another item from the fridge, if we go to bed a bit earlier, we could save ourselves a couple hundred calories. So while we all should definitely get exercise, napping isn't that bad. :wink:
Good Point DoctorU2. If your body needs rest, then by all means take a nap!! What I guess I meant to say that was avoid napping all the time. ( As I do know some people that are in the habit of "sleeping thier life away" and it hasn't helped them fight off their weight "problem" ) Thanks for the always helpful advice :)
I know what you mean - I do love my sleep. In fact, I missed my work-out yesterday because I fell asleep early. :? I'm not going to let this derail me though - I'll just work-out today instead (today was to be my "day off" from working-out). This will mean that I'll have to work-out two days in a row, but so be it. I think my body can handle it. :wink: Still... sleep is so nice, isn't it? :lol:
Sleep is wonderful! I try to do it 8 hours a day!! :D Taking a day off is hardly anything to worry about. If you know that today is a new day and your right back at it, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. ...no pun intended :)
I personally have no problem saying I am on a diet! I am proud to be on one and sticking to it! If someone dosent like it, tuff crap. I am HAPPY TO BE ON A DIET! -Veronica
Then go with it! Kirlaska :D
Shout it out loud. I'm on a diet and I'm proud!
I am not embarrassed to admit I am on a diet but I am a little uncomfortable to just shout it out. Although I will gladly tell someone if they ask me. I just realllyyyy don't like it when people tell me I look like I have lost weight or that I look thinner. I don't know why it just bothers me. Is that normal??
Somebody told me I looked thinner recently and I felt embarrassed. I haven't told anyone I'm on a diet, but my flatmate can tell based on my shopping habits and has been teasing me a bit. I guess it seems like "normal" people don't have to diet to be a healthy weight and look good so I feel like I shouldn't have to be putting all this effort in. My other flatmate seems to live off ice cream sandwiches and has no problems with weight... Hmm, I think the other thing I don't like is that it's kind of an insult to the heavier me in a way - I can say I don't like the way I was, but it's worse for other people to notice.
I haven't told anyone that I was dieting. I guess that isn't so good because I have no support system. But who can I tell? Just today, for instance, my sister noticed that I had taken only a small portion of our dinner and suggested that I was "sick in love". It's almost like I'm being pushed out of some special club or something because I'm not eating the way I used to. If so then so be it, but it would be nice if someone had something good to say about it all. They would rather I stay fat and eat bad foods than do something about it. But then, they're the first ones to make a comment like, "You should make better food choices" or "You gonna be as big as a house". That's a classic, the 'big as a house' comment. My friends seem to have not noticed my weight loss at all, and if I make comments like, "Well, I wouldn't have anything to wear because all my clothes are too big", they just say, "Oh, are we losing weight?", as if they can't tell. I want to say it's jealousy. Their afraid that their once very fat friend will take attention away from them or something, but then I just say that it's because they've known me so long, I don't look any different. My tents for clothing don't help either. But then, when I go to school or something, the only time I hear comments is from adults. One of my teachers would often say to me, "Are you losing weight?' and would ask me questions pertaining to exercise and diet. I went to pick up my mother's check from her job one day and when I asked for it, one of her co-workers said that she didn't reconize me. Things like that make me feel really good, but then make me realize that I must've been very big, much bigger than I thought. I've decided that I won't tell anyone close to me and just let them notice. Even then, I doubt if they'll say something. I'm not losing wieght for anyone's gratification anyway, I'm doing it for me. I have to get myself healthy. It's not my friends who have to do the exercising, it's me. It would just be nice if I heard a 'good job' or 'you look nice' from someone really mattered to me. Thank you all for your comments. It really helped!
missd it is really great that you are doing it for yourself. that is the only way to do it really. friends and family sometimes are our biggest critics, and even though i don't understand why, they say things absentminded or hurtful? they might not even "mean" it that way but it is how it is we take it. keep on the right path, and try not to let words hurt you. you can do it!
Yeah, I know how that feels. Im 17 and while Im sure my parents would applaud me for wanting to lose weight, I dont think they would take me seriously. Ive been over weight almost all my life, and I dont think theyre supportive of me at all. Once or twice Ive mentioned an urge to shed the pounds, but they never listen. Whenever they go out, they ask if I want anything, and if I say no, its like they didnt hear me, always bringing back things to tempt me. It's a little depressing, I had spent summer with dad skating and munching on rice, and I had lost about 15 lbs over course of summer, parents complimented how I looked, but within a few weeks I had it all back, and then some. Hopefully here I can find the support I think I really need :)
Aiwendil, I'm sure your parents would approve of your trying to lose weight! You could seriously address the issue with one of them and ask them to help (not tempting you and reminding you when you slip). Or, you could simply PROVE to them that you're serious about it, and maybe they'll take some notice. Doing that is harder, of course, because you're being tempted all the time. For example, I live alone and I'm always being brought food by kind neighbours, or have dinner out with my friends and stuff, and I keep cursing and blaming a 'bad day' on other people and circumstances. But it's still my fault if I overeat. I just have to learn to resist temptation, even in these situations. And if I can't refuse something without being rude, I just say 'a little', have that, and then leave it at that. Show that you mean it. Not that I'm succeeding all that well, but I'm doing better and better at it. Definitely don't give up! Show them!
[color=green:1e206e60aa]Parents mean well. They want to see us happy, and for many people food has been our happiness. Though they realy dont have any ill intent, it can get rather annoying for them to bring sweets. I still have not found a way to stop them from getting sweets for me so i cant tell you how to do it. Good luck Aiwendel with your parents[/color:1e206e60aa] [u:1e206e60aa][b:1e206e60aa][color=blue:1e206e60aa]Kiara[/color:1e206e60aa][/b:1e206e60aa][/u:1e206e60aa]
At the rate things are going, EVERYONE will be on a diet in 10 years. There's not much stigma left.
I think that I am a little embarrassed to be on a diet, because its only recently that i've decided to lose weight, and im just getting used to the whole idea of it. My Dad lives in a different town to me, cos my parents are divorced, and last time I went to visit, my stepmum said I looked good, which was a really helpful comment, because I could grasp the fact that maybe I was doing ok, and my diet was working. With my family, im pretty sure my mum knows im on a diet, as ive refused some of the ice cream, baked goods etc that she's brought home for me, and she's not pressuring me to eat it, just saying that if i want to be healthy, im on the right track. My brother and I are good friends, and once when I had a huge pig out after a terrible day, he told me to stop eating like that, or ill get really fat. I was kinda annoyed, but i guess it was just his way to keep me on track, and not lose the plot completely. Unfortunately, my grandma is a big cake and donut fan, and she's constantly buying things like that for me ( i go to her house every day after school before i get picked up to go home ), and so i talked to mum about it, and she told my grandma to provide healthier afternoon snacks! So now I get carrots and hummus, and celery with low fat cream cheese, and fruit! Its great! I should probably stop being embarrassed about being on a diet, and just talking to people about what you're trying to accomplish, and how they can help is really good, and i think, to some extent it works! Well..sorry guys if you read this heh its a bit off topic, felt like a ramble :D
I think if you are overweight, then going on a diet is a very natural thing to do. But you may always run into trouble with friend and family. Sometimes it's best to just keep it to yourself.