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I absolutely hate being me. Well, I like being married to my husband, but I guess thats about it. This just sucks. I am "supposed" to be appx. 120lbs... well, only 110 lbs to go! lol Lets see, I snack all day and eat until I feel like I'm going to explode cuz I live with my in-laws and thats how it is here. You eat until the food is gone... I'm addicted to soda and despise (and I mean HATE with a passion) exercise. Even with incentives (like my dad pays me for each day I exercise) I still can't do it. I'm one of those people who thinks everyone else at the gym/track is looking at them. You know, thinking "Who does she think SHE'S kidding? I've never seen an elephant jogging before" and the like. I guess I'm also still at that age where peer pressure is a little overwhelming. Not as bad as it was in high school, but still there. I haven't seen the underside of 200lbs in about 2 years. And I haven't seen under 185 since I was 10... I hate being me, size 20. And who decided that being a size 0 was IN? I'd like to kick their ass. It sucks to live in a society that dictates what beauty is by glamourizing anorexic sticks. Did you know in Africa you have to be overweight or you'll never get a husband? It symbolizes the wealth of your family and fertility! I wish I could live in Africa... Sorry, had to vent. ~~~~~Geo

its good to know that i m not the only one that feels that way :P

Ahh hun, No need to be down on yourself. If you hate to exercise, you just need to find some sort of hobby that will help you work out without seeming like a lot of work. I wish I could tell you how to not be self concious, but I know exactly how you feel on that one. I haven't taken my shirt off at a beach in around 25 years for fear of someone laughing. I notice most people these days don't share the same modesty. But one thing you need to do is look at the bright side: you are happily married and you are YOUNG. That's something a lot of people wish they could say. If you really want to make changes, you won't have any problems, and you won't even have to move Africa. :D

No need to hate. Especially yourself! If you hate yourself for being heavy, maybe you have to love yourself in order to change. ( A peice of advice once given to me) You are SO young and you have the power of youth on your side. Don't you want to be healthy for the rest of your life? It takes courage and drive to become the person that you [b:7a67bcd179]REALLY ARE[/b:7a67bcd179].. but it is well worth it. Take a walk the next time you want to stuff yourself.. get away from the kitchen and see if some fresh air doesn't alleviate your craving..or drink 3 glasses of water and see if it doesn't pass..

Don't hate yourself sweetie! No one is perfect and there is no reason to be anyway. Be yourself and be happy with yourself. If there is something that doesn't make you happy. then change that part of yourself. Always try to get better and bettter. In the meantime, forgive yourself for your faults, understand everyone has them and focus on the good things in life and focus on a bright future.

Being fat is not in. Its not even acceptable in this society. People should look beneath the surface. But they don't. I'm 43 now and still fat. I wish I would have realized the power of being attractive sooner. Its amazing how much better people treat you. When I was younger and lost weight I got scared at the attention. It sad I had to get this old before I realized that other people are so stupid. But my brain and heart will be the same after I loose weight. I'll just have a better interface with the world and that will create advantages for me. Hang in there! Discover what makes you happy and ignore the rest of the jokers. You can't beat them but you can help yourself feel better and take advantage of the benefits. Good luck keep writing